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Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Live it, Love it, Enjoy it - till you have it !!

Have you ever got angry on your child? Have you ever feared losing your job or your client? Have you ever felt jealous of your neighbors car ? Have you ever reacted on some other parent scolding your child? Have you ever felt that your boss always underestimates your performance? 
And, have you ever feared death? 
Remember that all our negative emotions (anger, hurt, jealousy, rejection....) stem from one core negative emotion, and we can overcome all these negative emotions, with the right knowledge. Read on...
The deadly Ego
If a community member of a village has been killed for marrying outside her caste or outside her village in the name of self respect, understand that it is Ego at play. When you shout back at someone who hits your car, remember that it is your Ego at work. When a lower grade clerk ignores the boss and does not salute him, and the boss does not like it, it is Ego at work yet again.

Ego is one single emotion that can be the difference between "living your life" and just scraping through it. Let us understand how it works, and then work upon ourselves to conquer it.

Key Elements of Ego
There are 2 key elements that define Ego:
  • Attachment
  • Wrong Image
Lets understand each of them in more detail.

What is "attachment"
Let us assume that i buy a new mobile phone. Since it is new, i get 'attached' to it, and this is equally relevant for any new gadget or device. It is as good as physical attachment to any other body part. If my hand (which is physically attached to my body) gets scratched, i will feel the physical pain, isn't it? Similarly, if there is a scratch on my mobile or it falls down, i get hurt emotionally. If someone praises my mobile, i feel good about my decision. That's how deeply we get attached to things around us. Attachment, is essentially, considering the external object to be a part of "us".

What is a "wrong image"
I completely understand that my mobile will NOT always remain unscratched or would fall down some day. It is also a fact that one day, this mobile would no longer would be relevant technologically, and no one is going to appreciate me for possessing this device after some time. All these are known facts to me, but i still go ahead and possess the new phone with the sub conscious assumption that it will not get scratched or will not fall. Making any such false alternative assumption is what is termed as a "wrong image".

Apply the same concept on your own self, and what results is EGO
EGO is essentially the "attachment" to a "wrong image" about our own self.
For understanding this vital concept, let us make it clear who "we" are : 
We are this beautiful soul, and that's it. We are nothing else, other than this soul.

What are the "wrong images" about your own self. 
Lets take a few examples:
  • That you are a "Director" of a company is a wrong image of yourself. This is an acquired role in your job or business. This is not you. You will lose this role one day.
  • That you are this "body" is a wrong image. This is acquired by you in this birth, but this is not you. You will leave it here.
  • That you are a father, mother, brother, sister, fiance - are all wrong images. These are all roles acquired by you and this is not you. You will lose all these roles and relationships one day.
  • That you are Manoj, Rohit, Shyam, Venkat, Amit, Joseph, Stephen, Anjali, Kavita - these are all acquired names but this is not you - a wrong image once again. You will lose this name one day.

How do we get attached to these wrong images:
In our day to day lives, we start feeling that we are the Director, this body, father, mother, Manoj, Anjali etc....

What are the implications of this attachment to this wrong image:
  • If a clerk ignores the "Director", the Director does not feel nice about it. (our attachment to the role of Director).
  • If some says i look ugly, i get hurt. (attachment to my body)
  • If my child disobeys me, i get hurt (attachment to the role of a father or mother)
  • If my boss says that Manoj is not a good performer, i get hurt (attachment to my name)

How Ego comes in play
  • I may fire the clerk as a revenge.
  • I may loose self confidence on myself when many people say i am ugly. I may be jealous of people who are good looking.
  • I may be angry at my child after understanding that he did not obey his father.
  • I may dislike my boss for not appreciating my performance.

My entire life can go in all these negative emotions just because of one wrong image of myself and that is the wrong image of "Who am I", and then getting attached to that wrong image of myself (Ego).

Look at your life, you got this body, got a family, got money, got a position - it is all meant to be used and enjoyed - rather than living in the fear of losing them at some stage, knowing the fact that we will definitely lose it one day. Just because of our attachment to this wrong image, we devoid ourselves of using them and enjoying them. 

Enjoy it , live it, use it, till you have it. You will definitely lose all these acquired things one day. You can live in the fear of losing money, position, job, family member, your body, and your entire journey of life would be fearful. In the end, you will anyway lose it, but your attachment (and therefore the fear) does not allow you to enjoy it while you have it with you.

So, go on - you beautiful soul - it is assured that you can never die - you have all these beautiful possessions - live them, enjoy them - till you have them.

Read more about who you are and what are your traits as a soul
Chapter 5.2 ~ Understanding the Soul - Happiness Unlimited (the book) - Launching May 2014.


Manoj Arora
You are entitled to happiness unlimited !!


  1. The fear of losing kills the pleasure of happiness.
    As one changes his perspective to see the positive things and happiness all the way he changes his lifestyle and he will definitely see the unlimited happiness, the one for which he is entitled :)

    1. Absolutely VidyaShree !!
      Everyone is entitled to happiness. It is just setting the right perspective, as you very rightly pointed out