A little uprooted plant taught me so much....Read on..
Walking through the park on a chilly winter morning last Sunday, me and my wife were basking in the beautiful sun rays hitting our face. Beaming sun rays bathing your body on chilly days of January in Delhi is quite a feeling.
As we walked, we kept discussing the daily routine and the plan for the day. It mainly revolved around our children, books that we read, the lessons we learn and implement, and of course Priya's household activities. On the way, we saw a small plant - which was lying uprooted on the grass. This was not anything extraordinary as this was the usual consequence of a fight between two street dogs in the park, or perhaps one self obsessed street dog just being hell bent on digging the plant out, while deriving the pleasure of digging the soil. I have seen it happen multiple times in the pots that I maintain just outside my house.
As we continued to make multiple rounds of the park, I just decided to pick up this uprooted plant, and planned to give it a chance in one of the vacant pots that I have at home. This act can potentially have many advantages- it might just save a plant from dying - and being a beautiful flowery plant - it may just add deco to my house - and I would also do something good for the environment, however small it may seem to be, if I could save and nurture it.
I picked the plant up and we walked one more round in the park before moving for home. On the way, I do not know why but I wondered what people would actually be thinking as they see me carrying this plant home. In fact, I thought what would I have thought if I would have seen someone else carrying such a plant. I would have definitely thought that the guy has uprooted the plant and for the sake of beautifying his house, he is destroying the beauty of the park - how selfish...I was sure so many people would be thinking the same about me as I carry this uprooted plant in my hands...
But the fact is that no one knows the background. I mean its not written over my face or over the plant that it was already uprooted before i picked it up. I would not know the background as well, when I see something unacceptable happening in front of me.
I shared my thoughts with my wife who was walking besides me.
"Yes, even I was thinking of the same Rahul. People will judge us based on their own perspectives Rahul. Similarly, we judge people based on our own perspectives. On the other hand, the fact is that we never ever have enough information to judge anyone..Never ever. It is actually wise to just accept whatever is happening around us, and believe that everything is happening for a reason, and that we do not control all the situations."
"You are so right Priya....Many of us understand what you are saying...it is just that these things are difficult to implement when it comes to our own self...just if someone can pinpoint us when we are trying to judge...that will really be helpful, isn't it?."
Anyways, we came back home..I planted the plant in our pot, watered it and hoped for it to survive.
As I was entering my home after planting the pot, I saw a huge waste bag just at my doorstep. I did not know who had thrown it.
"Ridiculous people..why cant they just throw it in the garbage..just to save their two minutes..they just throw it somewhere without bothering how will it impact others, and how it impacts the cleanliness and hygiene of the society. I would say that these are all educated illiterates."
Priya came from inside and smiled at me.
"Why are you smiling Priya? Look at this. This is disgusting...We call ourselves a modern society and see someone has thrown a full bag of garbage in front of our house entrance."
She kept smiling.
"Priya, whats there to smile, tell me." I was getting jittery now.
"No, nothing big Rahul, it is just that we seem to be judging once again...we dont know the complete background...what has happened...why it has happened, and we have started blaming our neighbor or anyone whom we dont like."
"But Priya...what else can happen..someone has definitely thrown it, that is why it is here, right?"
"May be...May not be..."
"What do you mean by May not be...?"
"See Rahul, that is the problem with applying these principles in our daily life. We cannot accept ourselves as incorrect...Why are you being judgmental here. Just accept this situation happily...This is what we just discussed in the park, and you wanted someone to remind you....and so I am doing what you asked for. Rahul, we dont know what has happened. We will never have enough information and background data to judge the situation."
I tried to cool myself. I tried to absorb what Priya was saying. Here is an opportunity to apply non judgmental habit, and when it comes to applying this opportunity on our own self, we try to defend and prove ourselves right..
Anyways, I walked in with Priya, the dustbin bag still lying there...
We came out fully prepared to dispose off the bag ourselves, and then we suddenly saw a stray dog picking up the bag and moving along....We were happy and surprised at the same time...happy because we didn't have to pick up that bag....and surprised because we realized that we will never know what happened, and why it happened.
Did the dog also bring that bag? Did someone actually threw it in front of our door? Did the bag incidentally fell off from the garbage collectors trolley? Did....??
"We will never know the right answer...never ever Rahul"
"So Priya, whats the solution in such situations?"
"The solution is to save our energy by avoiding to think about why we are facing the situation, or who is responsible for it. We will never come to know of it and we will waste a lot of energy in pursuit of such meaningless answers. The solution is to accept that we have a situation at hand, and we got to handle the situation. Put your energy there. This will conserve a lot of energy and happiness inside us - one of the sure shot ways to experience happiness unlimited."
"Rahul, day in and day out, we face hundreds of such small and big situation, and we tend to judge - Why did he say like that? Why did he play the way he did? Why did he not study hard? Why he is not moving the car when the traffic light is green, Who has created this mess in our house? What is happening to this team? Why ?Who? What? Questions Questions Questions..."
"But Priya, if we dont ask questions, how will we ever improve?"
"Beautiful point Rahul..Just look at your question once again...'How will WE ever improve?'...We is the key here..If the questions are to improve ourselves, then go for it..but look at what we usually do....we ask questions to judge someone else. If you are trying to judge others, you are just wasting your time and energy and losing your happiness on the way - because remember this - We never ever know enough to judge anyone."
The uprooted plant taught me not to judge. I practice it everyday. I use Destiny Cards to practice it...I am changing..rather, I am transforming to a better me.
The book Happiness Unlimited shows you many such lessons to lead a happier, contended life.
Cheers
Manoj Arora
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